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Marquette Wire

The student news site of Marquette University

Marquette Wire

The student news site of Marquette University

Marquette Wire

SUBMISSION: Sell out Education, respond to change

In response to Gov. Scott Walker’s call to slash the educational budget for the state of Wisconsin, I think that Marquette’s College of Education needs to respond in a timely fashion so students do not begin bailing on their Education degrees. Expectations of reduced salaries leave the lavish teacher lifestyle that we education majors dreamed of in jeopardy. Recently,

Marquette’s Student Government recommended that the college add a Special Education Certification; I say we go a step further and add some business courses to the curriculum.

It only makes sense that education goes the way of professional sports and teachers begin picking up endorsement deals to supplement their salaries. Opportunities are available for businesses to get a foot in the classroom door. All we need is a course or two to learn how to negotiate contracts and ensure that we each get a fair deal from advertisers. We’d ask teacher unions to do it for us, but they are about to be cut, too.

Start in the classroom. We can take down our bulletin boards and install the rotating advertisement displays used at the scorer’s tables of basketball games. In fact one student (one who has a particularly good grasp on division) can be in charge of rotating the board so all advertisements receive equal time in the class. Blackboard sizes could be cut in half to open up prime billboard ad space for local networks to advertise their shows specific to the demographic of the students within the class.

Just as naming rights have taken hold of stadiums throughout the country, they can enhance the interest of students. Who wouldn’t want to spend at least one period in the Mountain Dew Physics Lab or the Sour Patch Kids Gymnasium? We can sell the rights to the school start time — “School starts promptly at 7:11, and your day starts at your local 7-Eleven; on your way to school, pick up a cold cherry Slurpee to stay energized throughout the day!” Businesses can claim rights to class periods as well. “Welcome to the 5-Hour Energy 8th period class. If you have a 2:30 feeling, grab a 5-hour Energy because we’re about to watch a documentary on the War of 1812.”

There are still more opportunities that teachers can take in each class. “Talladega Nights” introduced us to contractually-obliged product placements within prayer, and while organized prayer is unlawful in public schools, private school teachers can pounce on the opportunity to thank the Lord for “the fresh classroom smell provided by Febreze.” Instead of struggling to find the perfect background for powerpoint slides, why not just sell the background rights to McDonald’s. Wouldn’t that keep students focused at least on the screen?

Public schools often require students to cover their textbooks with brown paper bags. Well, why not require those bags to come from Sendik’s with their logo prominently displayed on the front, back and spine of the book?

The annoying postcards for subscriptions inside magazines can just as easily be inserted into classroom library books and teachers can pick up a commission for how many subscriptions we sell.

Teachers are already known to wear sweaters, specifically ones with school houses and apples on them. We would have no problem swapping out the embroidered designs for a Bobby Knight-style sweater cluttered with snack and beverage logos.

As everyone knows, we picked the teaching profession for the money. Despite the expectations of lower salaries, we can still maintain our “fat” incomes, provided that we are properly compensated for our endorsement opportunities and product placements within the classroom. Just as “No Child Left Behind” opened our eyes to the educational revolution of standardized testing, this new budget can finally reveal to teachers the benefits of selling ourselves out.

Patrick Idstein is a junior in the College of Education

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