MURPHY: Fuhgetaboutit, “Jersey Shore”

The world is in uproar about “Jersey Shore.” The artificial tans, blown out hair, fake boobies and sexual deviance isn’t shedding a very good light on Italian-Americans or those who call the shore home for the summer.

UNICO, a national Italian-American service organization, has already protested the show as it plays into every negative East Coast Italian stereotype, especially the words “guidos” and “guidettes.”

Look, I understand why UNICO is mad. They’re upset that a large number of Italian-Americans from the East Coast dress and act like they have front row tickets to a George Michael concert.

UNICO wants to give off the impression that no one really acts like this but, unfortunately, this isn’t true. Go to Staten Island for the day and it is like “Jersey Shore” times 10.

All I’m saying is that if a show about a bunch of alcoholic, obnoxious Irish Catholic Cubs fans gets put on VH1, I’m not going to complain.

While not all Cubs fans, like myself, are obnoxious drunks, I’m aware a majority of them are.

As difficult as this stereotype is for me, I’ve come to terms with it being inevitable.

So, instead of complaining about how they are being perceived because of this ridiculously entertaining group of self-proclaimed “guidos” and “guidettes,” UNICO should spend some time getting to the root of the problem.

How did this culture of narcissistic, waxed-eyebrowed, juiceheads get created? When did it begin?

Nico Gigiolio, a first generation Italian-American and senior at Fordham University said it’s just a lifestyle that seems to have taken over the culture on the East Coast.

But is he embarrassed?

“It’s comical to me,” Gigiolio said. “These people choose to dress and act like clowns so why should I be offended?

“I think America is smart enough to separate the way they see these people on this show and they way they see Italian-Americans.”

But Gigiolio also said the world celebrates the word “guido,” which Gigiolio finds disrespectful and offensive.

“That is my only problem with the show,” he said.

So with that said, let’s just cool it, UNICO and anyone else offended by this show.

Stop being blinded by your rage and embrace the show for what it is — a celebration of the delusional idiots of America.

The show has everything: great dancing, great style and a touching love story between a young heartbreaker from Jersey and a tough guy with a heart of gold from the Bronx.

Cheer up, UNICO, and look at the bright side of the whole “Situation.”

Next Halloween might as well be renamed Italian Pride Day because every kid with a bottle of hair gel and an accessible tanning salon is going to be dressing up like the icons that grace our TV sets on “Jersey Shore.”

And if you are looking for pointers, you can ask Mike “The Situation” yourself at Decibel next Friday.

Just be prepared for a night full of bumpin’, grindin’and smushin’ … I know I am.

Oh and don’t forget, SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!