Campus professionals and some kooky figures weigh in on your burning questions.

Is it appropriate to date my T.A.?

Your Mother: “I didn’t raise my daughter to be Anna Nicole Smith. What’s wrong with you? Do you ever listen to anything I say?

“What about Ferguson, that nice boy who asked to borrow your chemistry book? He seems smart and modest…”

Uncle Rico: “Is she hot?”

Julia Child: “Just add butter!”

PMS-ing Pam: “Why would you want to date anyone? You’ll just get Swine Flu. It’s already destroying our nation. Swine Flu’s the number one killer of pet rats.”

But seriously…

Dr. Virginia Chappell, director of first-year English: “Never. It’s an inappropriate imbalance of power. A teaching assistant should never ask a student out and a student should never accept.

“It’s also a violation of the university’s sexual harassment guidelines.”

What do I do about a roommate who has really bad body odor? It’s making me not want to come home.

Your Mother: “Grab her by the pit and shove some Dove up there. That’s what I do with you, anyway.”

Uncle Rico: “Man, if I could have gone back in time, I would never have used deodorant. Do they still sell that stuff on the cyberworld?”

Julia Child: “Just add butter!”

PMS-ing Pam: “The B.O. has probably already infiltrated your mattress, toothbrush, gym shorts and hair follicles. What’s the point?”

But seriously…

Lynn O’Brien, counselor at the Counseling Center: “This is a very sticky situation that needs to be handled delicately. It’s important to tell the roommate about your concerns. Wouldn’t you want to know if you have offensive body odor?

“People with body odor don’t necessarily notice that it’s a problem.

“Say something like, ‘I’ve been wanting to talk to you about something but not sure how to start. I can smell your body odor and it’s been bothering me. I hope I don’t hurt your feelings but thought you would want to know. That’s the reason I don’t spend much time in the room with you right now.’

“If things don’t improve, you might ask your resident assistant for help.”

I just got to college and feel a little homesick. How do I meet people if my neighbors don’t keep their doors open and seem to have friends

already?

Your Mother: “Oh, sweetie, if I were your age, I’d be your friend.

“Just give them that big box of Polish sausage I left you and put on a big smile (just make sure your retainer doesn’t show, it’s unflattering).”

Uncle Rico: “Go feed Tina.”

Julia Child: “Why, you just need a copy of my book, ‘The Art of French Cooking’! Anyone can do it, really.

“You just preheat the oven to 350 degrees, simmer a duck for 42 hours, and brown that gizzard! And if you drop it, no one will know! Mmmm…You’ll have friends in no time!”

PMS-ing Pam: “If you don’t have friends now, you never will. People who don’t meet friends on the first day never make any more.

“There’s probably something wrong with your face, or your personality.”

But seriously…

The Rev. Douglas Leonhardt: “It’s good to admit that one feels the loss of friends and family at home.

“But you have chosen to be at Marquette and you can take some initiative to connect. You might try three things:

1) If you are in a residence hall, talk with your RA. You might not be the only one on the floor who is experiencing homesickness.

2) If there are some people you know from your hometown or high school here at Marquette, you might look them up and perhaps have lunch or dinner with them.

3) If you saw an organization or activity at O-Fest that interested you, check it out online, contact one of the officers and have a conversation with them about possibly joining.”