With the presidential election over and that brisk November chill settling over Milwaukee, campus has been a bit quieter this last week. No one is leaving candidate information on my door or asking me to register to vote for the umpteenth time. There are no students standing under the Raynor bridge handing out flyers on their causes. But why would they be? No one looks up as they walk to class with their heads bent into the wind.

I wondered if other campuses were experiencing the same wintry post-election lull. It turns out some schools have been enjoying more than their fair share of entertaining news. If only Marquette were this interesting.

Squirrel shock

At the University of California-Davis, wildlife faculty and their students are making plans to give squirrels birth control. UC-Davis' squirrel population has grown by 400 in the last seven years, so experts are taking nature into their own hands. The squirrels will be captured and injected with hormones to prevent them from reproducing.

Why didn't Marquette think of this? We have squirrels running rampant around this campus, and it's time someone did something about it. They pop out of garbage cans at you, scurry between your feet on the way to class&mdasha friend of mine accidentally punted one once—and are really just rats with fuzzy tails. We could get rid of half the squirrels on this campus, and there would still be too many.

Bopping books

Librarians competed in Madison in the annual Wisconsin Book Cart Drill Team competition. Teams of librarians choreograph dances that include their book carts as props. Go ahead. Picture it in your mind. I know, it's hilarious. The Baraboo Bookers of the Baraboo Public Library won first place after dancing to "Born to be Wild." They'll go on to compete in the national competition held next summer in Chicago. (Click here to see a collection of performances from around the country.)

The competition isn't just for public libraries, though. Colleges can dance with books too, and the University of Wisconsin-Madison had a team of graduate students—the Mad City Truckers—dance to an Indiana Jones routine. Marquette is missing out on a golden opportunity here. Aside from pride, the winners get money and bragging rights. Come on, Marquette, jump on the bandwagon (or the bookmobile, so to speak.) I suggest dancing to Cher's "The Book of Love" or Bob Seger's "Turn the Page."

Donut dilemma

As if the stereotype of cops eating donuts already wasn't strong enough, a Morrisville State College campus policeman has made things worse. Sgt. Steve Brody stole $30 worth of pastries from a local convenience store at the college in upstate New York. The gas station, Nice N Easy, offers free coffee to any uniformed cop.

Brody took advantage of the hospitality and stuffed donuts and pastries into his pockets at least 17 different times. He was caught on surveillance videos and ticketed, but the college has yet to comment or fire him. Way to lead by example, Brody. And way to go, Morrisville State. I bet your students feel really safe having thieves protect them.

So here's to Brody, librarians and squirrels everywhere. Thanks for easing us out of election season by keeping our headlines interesting.