Run for cover. Colossal, ornery dragons have just incinerated Shorewood and they're headed for Milwaukee. These dragons hail from Minnesota, so neither beer nor brats can persuade them. Hide. But hide with confidence, for you hide under the protection of the Catholic Knights.

Well, at least that's what Mike Bolz, sophomore in the College of Arts & Sciences, fancies during his English classes.

"I would love to see Milwaukee attacked by dragons," Bolz said at Friday night's auditions for the Campus Comedy Challenge.

He joked that a dragon, or perhaps a Wauwatosan, attack on Milwaukee would finally spring the Catholic Knights into action something he's been waiting for since arriving at Marquette.

Bolz, who said he has always had an interest in stand-up comedy, thought he would "give it a go" with the Campus Comedy Challenge when he heard about it through an e-mail.

The challenge, sponsored by American Eagle and MUSG AfterDark, began with auditions on Friday.

Marquette is one of 12 schools chosen to participate in the competition.

From Friday's auditions, four student comics will be chosen to perform two-minute sets at the final Marquette competition on Feb. 10 at 9 p.m. in the Weasler Auditorium.

The student performers will share the stage with four professional comedians from Comedy Central, including host Jasper Redd, who was recently named by NYLON Magazine as one of "American's hottest young comics."

The audience will vote on their cell phones to determine which student will advance to represent Marquette at the regional round of the competition.

Students can also view next Saturday's winning performance online at www.ae.com, along with winners from other participating schools, and vote for the comic they want to see compete in the national championship.

The winner of the challenge will receive a chance to perform in Cancun, Mexico, for American Eagle's Spring Break on March 21, as well as opportunities to perform as a professional.

The only female to audition, Jessie Mahne, a College of Communication freshman said on Friday she would like to conquer the American challenge of compensating for a lack in foreign language skills with boisterousness and volume. Mahne painted an image of Americans trying to communicate with Europeans akin to Mike Bolz's dragons trying to coordinate an attack with the Wauwatosans: a directionless din, without the fire.

While Mahne griped about American communication skills, College of Engineering freshman Ryan Feil entertained the reign of Satan over Wal-Mart and the evil, "precognizant" powers of the game of Life.

In contrast to the complaints heard from some of Friday's comedians, came the praise of a new age by College of Communication junior Sean Gettings.

Gettings declared his goal of growing up to be a stay-at-home dad.

"I'm not a pioneer," he said. "I'm just lazy."

If Gettings can't find the perfect, bread-winning wife, he surrenders in advance to "grow a goatee and pour lattés at Starbucks."

If the challenge occupies them until March, Milwaukee can avoid the schemes these comics might come up with in their free time.