More Than a Feeling

This amazing story of survival comes to you courtesy of a '92 Plymouth Sundance with a dead battery.

On Friday night I was about to head out for a delicious Philly cheese steak, and when I turned the key to start my car, I got nothing.

Long story short, I got a jump and a cheese steak, but when I went out to start my car the next day, I heard the same lifeless click.

While I cursed the Chrysler company, I wondered why bad things happen to awesome people. Then I got another jump and decided to go to the carwash.

There was a pretty long line, and while I was waiting this idiot in front of decided to back out of it. He almost hit me, so I honked my horn and flipped him off because he deserved it.

Bad idea. The guy stopped his car mid back-out and started to walk toward me. He put his gross face right up to my window and screamed through the glass, "Was that really appropriate? Did you really need to give the middle finger?"

Trying to remain calm, I explained to him that it was indeed appropriate because he made a stupid move, and if he had a problem with the middle finger he should take it up with Jesus and get the hell out of my face.

He kept yelling and I kept not listening, so finally he told me to behave myself and walked away.

For a guy who didn't have time to wait in a carwash line, he sure had time to yell at a young girl all alone in her old, crappy car.

I never thought a short, stocky man in a Packers sweatshirt could instill the fear of God in me, but he sure did. My heart was pounding for the next three hours.

Here comes the kicker: after all the stuff I went through to get my car clean, it rained the next day and my car got dirty again.

I could interpret this as a sign from God or Mother Nature. However, I think the only logical thing to do is blame myself. Maybe I should have turned off my dome light or checked the weather. Maybe I shouldn't have given that guy the finger, but I don't regret it.

There is an important lesson to be learned here: every once in a while it's going to rain, and there's not a damn thing we can do about it.

Also, be careful with that middle finger.

This viewpoint appeared in The Marquette Tribune on Feb. 17 2005.