I've donned a number of uniforms since I started holding regular jobs. The first was a Dairy Queen smock. Later, I moved on to an Old Navy employee shirt and in-store headset. I relished every moment I wore that thing. With a simple press of a button, any one of my five bosses was able to infiltrate my thoughts immediately. Currently, I sport the dashing attire of a banquet server. Nothing says 'may I fetch that for you' quite like a black skirt, tuxedo shirt, bow tie and obligatory name tag.

The reason I'm telling you all this is to make the point that work is a fact of life. I realize this doesn't come as much of a surprise, but there are certain aspects of employment to take under consideration. I mean the reason we're all here right now, fighting to stay awake in class or working feverishly to finish a paper that's worth 30 percent of our grade, is so one day we will be able to get a job that doesn't require punching in and out on a time clock.

Now it's true that some enjoyment can come from a day's labor well done and a hefty paycheck never hurt anyone, but let's face it: whistling is probably not what you're doing on your way to work. If I had to guess, muttering swears under your breath is much closer to the truth.

When students are new to Marquette, many find the money that took them four years to accumulate is easily depleted in four months. When the balance on your checking account reads $6 and your parents won't return your calls despite multiple messages on the trials of surviving on Ramen noodles and water, it's time to go job hunting.

The first place most turn to is campus jobs. I worked as a computer lab monitor for the first two years of college. Essentially I was paid to sit at a desk and make sure nobody stole anything out of the lab. I did a splendid job. Not so much as a mouse went missing on my shifts. For those lucky enough to find them first, there exist positions where the only real requirement is that you have a face.

Of course, there are real jobs too. There are students who work at the various Brews, catering staff, library personnel, yellow-jacketed escorts and limo drivers. These last two deserve special recognition. One braves arctic temperatures nightly and the other is responsible for the shuttling of drunken, obnoxious students every weekend. May we salute their tolerance and our own for putting up with the man and his ridiculous notion that we must earn what we have.

This article appeared in The Marquette Tribune on Mar. 15 2005.