Well, it finally happened, and I'm happy to share the news with all of you.

No, I didn't get my invite to the Neverland Valley Ranch yet, but the house that is the media finally fell on the wicked witch of the National League West, Barry Bonds.

Bonds told the media that they have caused him and his family so much pain that he's tired of the media picking on him. No. 25 went so far as to say the media wanted him to jump off a bridge, and he finally did.

Wow, my sympathy for Bonds can be measured in a sunflower seed. I wish I could conjure up some feelings of sorrow for "balloon-head" Barry but I'm fresh out of time and tissue. This surly, angry, hypersensitive egomaniac that has treated the media the same way Dean Martin treated a bottle of Scotch is suddenly defeated after abusing his star power all these years? I guess those injections didn't include a vaccine for insecurity.

Bonds wants people to believe the big monster that is the mass media has caused unimaginable drama for him and his family. I'm sure the fact that Bonds' mistress recently came out of the woodwork had nothing to do with his family's unrest. No, it must be the fact that people like Tony Kornheiser and Woody Paige talk about him bluntly, and how dare they. It must be Barry banter that brings down the morale of the Bonds family.

Sure he threw up the white flag, but by proclaiming that the media forced him into that position, Bonds tried to get one more cheap shot in. It's already too hard for Bonds to endear himself to anyone in the media because of his past actions, but a better approach would have been to announce his plans without blaming the big M. Bonds has tried to repair his image by granting interviews to Peter Gammons and answering fan e-mails on his Web site, but it's beyond repair. The man is socially handicapped.

This screw-up by Bonds now gives the media more inspiration, more drive to make him crack. It's known that a shark is drawn to blood, but the media is drawn to the idea that it can get to people and since Bonds has left that rib-eye of information out on the table, all that's going to be left is bones when he returns.

Sadly Bonds is still a few trips to the plate versus the Miguel Batistas of the world from breaking Hank Aaron's career home run record. If Bonds thought that the pressure put on him before would make him jump off a bridge, the future pressure will make him splatter like a frog thrown from a 747.

This article appeared in The Marquette Tribune on March 31 2005.