There's something to be said about rooting for a team that won't ever win.
When I talk about the Milwaukee Brewers beating the San Francisco Giants, for example, that's not what I mean. I'm talking about teams that will never, ever hold the penultimate championship trophy for their particular sport.
There are a lot of similarities between Wisconsin sports teams that will never win — the Milwaukee Bucks and Brewers — and sports teams from other areas of the country. Take the Chicago Cubs for example. What makes the "good" loser teams — like the Cubs, whose fan base extends to the four corners of the earth — and the "bad" loser teams — like the Milwaukee Brewers, whose fan base mostly tries to disguise the fact that they are a fan base at all — any different? I think it's a matter of geographic distribution and the relative craziness index of the population from their hometown.
For Exhibit A, I present all the Philadelphia (Craziness Index: 9.7 out of 15) sports teams and their league affiliations; the Eagles (NFL), the Fliars, I mean, uh, the Flyers (NHL), the 76ers (NBA) and the Phillies (NL). While the Eagles have never won a Lombardi trophy, they have devoted fan bases in the surrounding states and have threatened to break their trophy-less existence in recent years. It might not matter that to get there they'll have to go through the dynastic New England Patriots, not to mention the rest of the NFC.
The Phillies last won the World Series in 1980. They still have fans, despite losing the last World Series they were in to a Canadian team (the Toronto Blue Jays). The Flyers last won the Stanley Cup in the 1970s, but still field devoted fan bases in hometown Phillly.
Chicago, which ranks slightly lower on the craziness index at 9.2 (compared with the rest of Illinois, which is a solid 10.1), has the glory days of the 1980s and 90s for the Bears and the Bulls. The Blackhawks, who might as well be referred to as the "Area 51" team because they play off the radar, last won the Cup in 1961, but no one in Chicago grouses, I think mainly because they aren't aware the Blackhawks exist. The Cubs, well, lets not talk about the Cubs. There might be another pro baseball team in Chicago, but I don't sremember what it's called. The name might have something to do with attacking first base coaches, but it eludes me. Oh well.
When I tell people I'm a Brewers fan, even people from Milwaukee, I always get this look like "I like the beer too, but not that much." It's starting to get me down, especially with rabid Cubs fans all over this campus clamouring for blood all the time.
But then, in a late-night stupor after preparing for graduation and beyond, I came up with the craziness index and it all seems to make sense. Milwaukee, it turns out, comes in at a 5.6 on the scale, nowhere near high enough to be stupid about anything sports-related.
After all, it wasn't our guy who hit the sausage with the baseball bat.
This article appeared in The Marquette Tribune on April 26 2005.,”Brian O'Connor”
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