It's that magical time again. When I go into shop-a-holic recovery and start combatting the withdrawal symptoms of signing credit card slips, trying on clothing I don't necessarily "need" and buying pretty things. Here's why.

I love the holiday season, but holiday shoppers scare me. I avoid the mall at all costs. The crazed greediness begins on "Black Friday," when even a quiet, reserved person, won't hesitate to throw elbows, step on your foot and tackle you down to the ground NFL-style if you get in their way.

My temperament tolerates nothing about the day. I'm too impatient to wait 10 minutes for a table at a restaurant, let alone stand in multiple lines throughout the early morning with savages who won't hesitate to physically hurt me. Not to mention that both searching sales racks and dodging mobs of loud obnoxious people inspire me to wait and risk paying full price. And the number one reason I despise Black Friday: waking up before the sun rises.

So, how do I justify calling these shoppers crazy? Picture it. You're standing in line cold, exhausted and anxious, and some sneak cutzies in line. Whoa — not cool. So what does the victim do? He starts a full-on wrestling match in the Wal-Mart ring. That's just a tad dramatic. But, thank you CNN for showing video footage.

Oh, and if you do go shopping at Wal-Mart next year on Black Friday, make sure your laces are tied tight. Your agility is up to par and you watch out for slippery spots on the floor. Otherwise when the employees open the doors (wow, now there's a job I wouldn't want), you might trip, fall and become a human obstacle in the race to discount bliss. This happened in Michigan when two shoppers fell and became the store's welcome mat. The other shoppers stampeded over them, causing minor injuries to the two victims. Luckily, I'm a Target kind of gal.

If I ever do go insane and go shopping on Black Friday, I will make sure to strap on my rollerblading gear — knee and elbow pads and definitely a helmet. But with my luck, by the time I get to the store, all the $400 laptops and cheap cashmere items will be gone. Or, I can guarantee you I would oversleep and miss the doorbuster deals.

I give those tricky retailers credit; they are smart. They get you in the door with promises of limited items and time restricted discounts, but once you're there you'll likely be a sucker and purchase other things, possibly even at full price. Gasp. Or in Maine they lure men in with live, seductive lingerie models. Too funny.

But, my family and friends shall not worry; I won't forget their gifts. I have a Christmas Eve routine. It's a peaceful shopping day and there is no time to overthink the gifts. I'll grab something classy for mom, update my dad's 10 year-old wardrobe, and get loud, annoying toys for my two nieces (they'll love them and my bro's 'I hate you' face will be priceless.)

So, it's just one month without retail therapy (Christmas Eve doesn't count and on-line shopping just isn't the same). I can do this.