Once while driving from Marquette to Notre Dame with a Dorothy Day devotee friend of mine, we got in a discussion about the effects of globalization. I calmly reached behind my seat and handed her a short George F. Will column from Newsweek without saying a word about what lay within its margins. She glanced at Will's photo, made a guttural sound of disgust and said, "It doesn't matter what you read in first-world publications, until you've been to South America and have seen what it does to people you can't comment about globalization."

Infuriated by her response founded in paranoia, we spent the next 45 minutes in silence. We're still friends. She never read the column.

I love lefties. I'm not talking about southpaws — I'm talking about left-leaning, Dennis Kucinich-loving socialists. Some of my best friends believe the profit motive is evil and the only path to salvation is through redistribution of wealth. Here are simple rules for getting along with peers with repugnant beliefs.

First rule of polar pals: alcohol and politics never mix. It's hard to raise inebriated debate about the morals of corporations and the morale of troops to a 10 in cordiality when one's alcohol content is a .08. Similar to drunken sexual encounters, these altercations are usually based on hazy logic and often lead to regret-laden apologies the following day. Avoid them.

Second rule: learn to love propaganda. In order to learn anything from these alien creatures who hail from differing socio-economic backgrounds one must ingest their political mumbo-jumbo. Case in point, I went to see "Fahrenheit 9/11" with one of my polar buddies. Afterward, I handed him Christopher Hitchens' comprehensive column "Unfahrenheit 9/11" from www.slate.com blasting the movie and Michael Moore. The movie sucked. I'm still here to tell the harrowing tale of hobbling into the Oriental to the sound of President Bush's guffaws. Afterward, we went to a bar and ignored rule no 1. He didn't like the movie either.

Third rule of polar pals: listen. People who don't listen don't deserve to be listened to. Anyone who watches the screaming head cable shows with the same religiosity as me knows talking over people and not answering the question is an immediate case for disregard. Besides, how can one accuse someone of being an idiot without listening to their idiotic beliefs?

Finally, remember the point of higher education: Having one's assumptions confronted hones the mind and softens the heart. Besides, even in an election year, there is more to life than political postures. Often, kindred spirits can make politics seem trivial. As for the 45 minutes of silence — it ended when we arrived, picked up a Notre Dame school paper and started making fun of it.

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