More Than a Feeling

Dammit, I missed all the good stuff. The election, Halloween — it's been more than a month since the last installment of "More Than a Feeling," and all the important events are over. Oh, well. I guess I'll just fall back on the issue that's constantly in my mind: My ridiculously overpriced education.

College tuition costs are unnecessarily high whether you go to a public or private school. Why, you ask? I think the answer is quite simple — there isn't enough advertising in the education industry. Every year, corporations spend billions in television and radio advertisements trying to reach the key 18- to 25-year-old demographic, but they don't seem to realize that other than me, people in our age group tend to watch the least amount of television. Thus, advertisers who are trying to reach us should stop wasting their money in the mass media, and look elsewhere — like college classrooms. That's right, I'm talking sponsored lectures. Why hasn't anyone ever thought of this before?

The idea of sponsorship is quid pro quo, Clarice. For example, take the sponsorship goldmine that is NASCAR. Corporations like Subway and Coca Cola spend millions of dollars for their logo to appear on a car that drives around a circle really fast. Sponsorships ease the financial burden of the racing industry. So why don't sponsorships ease the financial burden of our education?

Here's what I'm thinking. Corporations could buy advertising time in lecture halls. Before every class, TAs read the sponsorships so it looks like they're actually doing something. Health and Human Sexuality classes could be brought to you — in Marquette's case — by the Catholic Church featuring Jesus Christ.

In election years, candidates could sponsor political science lectures, and any number of classes could be brought to you by various wireless carriers, who remind you to please silence your cell phone when the lecture begins in order to enhance the learning experience.

If our lectures were sponsored, everyone would win! Corporations get exposure to a key demographic, and we get a break in tuition costs. Where's the problem? Some might argue that as young adults in pursuit of higher education, we should steer clear of such tastelessness. At our age, we should be able to make up our own minds and steer clear of handouts. Why, then, can't I get a Diet Coke on this campus?

The bottom line is when the harsh realization you'll have to start paying off loans in less than six months kicks in, you start to think even NASCAR is a good idea.

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