Have you ever known someone who refused to watch television because of its "demoralizing effect on the human consciousness," who turned you on to hummus or who viewed shopping at the mall — rather than at thrift stores — as lazy and capitalistic. If you have, then you have been in the company of a hipster.

I've been hearing the term a lot lately, so perhaps you have too. However, you may be wondering what makes a hipster a hipster. Well, as I own the "The Hipster Handbook" by Robert Lanham, I have some idea.

First it's important to note the multiple forms of hipsters. From the Neo-Cruncher — folks we would define as hippies — to Bipsters — blue-collar hipsters who own pitbulls and can't stand artsy pretentiousness — hipsters come in all shapes and sizes. Nevertheless there are specific characteristics all true hipsters share. One common trait is that they always go against mainstream culture. In fact, as soon as something becomes popular, a hipster will drop it like it's on fire. For instance, you would be hard pressed to find any hipster sporting a certain yellow, rubber bracelet. Oh, I know it's about the cause, not the fad, but good luck telling them that.

The truth is few hipsters live in our somewhat sterile Marquette community. They prefer state universities — places where independent coffee shops and beatnik politics abound. But this is not to say that Milwaukee is a lost cause. The "Handbook" hails Riverwest as a hipster haven. So if you're itching to see a few, go wander around the area for a while.

For those interested in hipster hunting, here are a few clues. A hipster is a person who will order a Pabst Blue Ribbon at the bar, not because its cheap — although that never hurts — but because it's the sort of authentic retro-chic they're after. If in need of glasses, a hipster will select frames of the horn rimmed variety. Hipsters are such a distinct breed they have even devised their own language. "Deck" means "cool," "fin" is the opposite of "deck" and a "frado" is an unattractive guy who mistakenly thinks he's a winner with the ladies.

One last thing — a true hipster would never consider himself as such. I have a friend who qualifies, but she threatens to hurt me every time I call her on it. Now that I think about it, the last person who would own the "The Hipster Handbook" is a hipster. So if you're a poseur or simply curious, this book is for you. If you shop at organic markets and obsess over Wes Anderson, please disregard this column.

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