The student news site of Marquette University

Marquette Wire

The student news site of Marquette University

Marquette Wire

The student news site of Marquette University

Marquette Wire

YAKOB: Preserve the ‘dream’ in your dream job

If you think you’re studying to become what you “dream” to be, you’re not. You’re actually preparing for what you currently “want” to be. There is a definite difference.
So when someone asks you what your dream job is, you have to think beyond your limitations, outside of present possibilities. I’m talking far-out jobs you already know you will never be. (Sorry Bieber, I have to say never.)

For better or for worse, it’s a matter of fact none of us will ever become a super spy, or a fashion police officer, or a stormtrooper, or the president.

The reason why dream jobs are called “dream jobs” is because they aren’t realistic. They aren’t something covered by your academic field, and you aren’t actively pursuing them.

But that’s perfectly fine, because most of us have embraced our “want” jobs.

Take, for example, accounting majors. No offense to them, especially my roommate, but they’ve already given up completely on whatever their dream jobs may have been, and I commend them for it. Unless my roomate is absolutely bonkers about doing taxes and it’s somehow slipped under my radar.

I don’t blame him though. I think it’s smart to have moved on without getting his hopes up. I mean, my great-grandparents already blew my dream job of being a trust-fund baby, but at least I didn’t have to let myself down since it was a prenatal impossibility for me.

Still, I wish I didn’t have to rule my dream out already – which is why, as of Monday, I have a new dream job.

I dream to take over for Alex Trebek as the host of “Jeopardy!” (Note to readers: the exclamation point is the required style for the name of the show, so I have no choice but to be ecstatic about it.)

Assuming Trebek’s role, which has graced the world for a long time, would be nothing short of phantasmagoric.

Seriously, in 2001, the guy shaved his mustache of 30 years, and everyone went bananas.

The job itself can’t be that hard, but I don’t even care if it’s gruelingly difficult. It’s my dream job. Don’t hate.

The only obstacle to this dream of mine is what I have dubbed as “the Trebek paradox.” Even though the guy is getting older, he does not age. For him, getting plastic surgery means adding years to the shelf-life of the tools used by the surgeon.

He began hosting decades before I was a pukey-pants baby. And if he wanted to, he could easily outlast my lifetime.

But ask yourself one question: How does Trebek know every answer to every question on the show? It’s not because they give him the answers. It’s because he’s been around so long he knows everything.

He’s been around long enough to go through the encyclopedia for every letter of the alphabet several times. Trust me, he knows the answers for tomorrow’s episode already – it’s like counting cards at Potowatomi for him.

Thus, the only thing that can stop Trebek from hosting the show is him getting bored with it and quitting. That’s where I come in.

And here’s why I think it’s fated for me to replace Trebek: according to Wikipedia (probably for about ten minutes after I submit this column), it already says that I, Ian Yakob, will be his successor.

The quote reads, “In an October 2011 issue of the Marquette Tribune, it postulates Ian Yakob to be the next host of “Jeopardy!” effective upon Trebek’s unforeseen resignation.”

Self-fulfilling prophecy, here I come.

Wish me luck, but don’t follow my lead. If everyone actually wound up with their dream jobs, the world would be full of ballerina-rock stars, astronauts, cheetah riders and Disney princesses. And two Alex Trebeks.

To your relief, I’m not dishing out yet another life lesson. There’s no moral to this story. I just want Trebek’s job.

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